


I love It When a Plan Comes Together

by ThreeHats



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Zootopia (2016), どうぶつの森 | Animal Crossing Series
Genre: Crossover, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-16
Updated: 2016-04-16
Packaged: 2018-06-02 16:09:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6572974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThreeHats/pseuds/ThreeHats
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Batfleck has lost his friends and fallen on hard times, but finds a guiding light in the form of an adorable cartoon dog.</p><p>All characters, locations and scenarios were pulled out of a hat to create this story, which was written in 30 minutes or less.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I love It When a Plan Comes Together

All characters, locations and scenarios were pulled out of a hat to create this story, which was written in 30 minutes or less.

 **Characters:** Batfleck, Isabelle   
**Scenario:** Running for Pope  
 **Location:** In a bus

This was not the best day for Batfleck. The loss in revenue from his failing franchise forced him to sell much of his mansion, accessories, and high-tech weaponry to give Alfred the retirement fund he deserved. Alfred still checked on him down in his bus by the river, but he wasn’t about to skip out on all the money he got from him after all the shit he put him through. While Batfleck drove away most of his friends, there was one person who wouldn’t leave him alone no matter how hard he tried. Her name was Isabelle, and he wasn’t sure if she was a golden retriever, or even a dog at all. He figured seeing this small helpful animal speak was probably just his mind breaking after all of the harrowing situations he had put his normal human mind and body through. It contented him enough to have her around as she was always helpful. He didn’t quite understand how living in a bus by a river made him the mayor of a small town of wild animals, but he was done questioning things. 

“It’s Monday! Today is a very special day as Tom Nook is having a birthday! You should stop by and wish him a happy birthday! Let’s have a great day!” Said Isabelle cheerfully as Batfleck was just coming to consciousness in the wee hours. “It’s a bit early...weren’t you just here last night at 2 in the morning when I was crying because I couldn’t sleep? How are you here and awake again?” Batfleck asked groggily. “Oh! I just want to make sure that you have a great day. Don’t worry about me!” Isabelle said nervously. It was surprising that she obviously hadn’t had much sleep, but didn’t seem to be affected by it. Obviously she was just a figment of his imagination anyway, so it’s not like it mattered either way really. “Well, how are we going to make it a great day?” Batfleck asked somewhat annoyed. “What do you want to do? I know you’ve been feeling down lately, and I’ve been worried about you. I feel like you just need a pick-me-up!” Isabelle said gleefully. “I just wanted to help the world, people who were downtrodden, people who needed justice, a dark knight to right the wrongs that no one else would.” Batfleck said sadly. “You still can! You just have to don a different kind of cape!” Isabella wasn’t about to let his pessimistic attitude towards life win. 

“Why don’t you become the pope?!” Isabelle said as confetti popped behind her from seemingly nowhere. “I’m not sure if my delusional state is getting worse or better, but I feel like I should just play this out until I end up in a mental institution.” Batfleck said out loud, but more to himself than her. “Great!~ I can help you with all the paperwork and making sure you know what to do and say! I’ve already got you in on the roster.” Isabella smiled as if nothing she was saying was particularly out of the ordinary. “You know what, that’s great. I’m going to be the pope, and I can bring justice to this lonely rock in space through one of the most powerful seats to date.” He said, his sanity obviously starting to crack. “I knew you could do it~” Isabelle looked on Batfleck with admiration and awe, as this was going to be the new and improved pope.

“But…” Batfleck chimed in, “isn’t there a pope presently in the Vatican?” He asked, coming in and out of his stupor. “Not anymore! He died unexpectedly, and no one knows what happened...and they never will” she whispered quickly under her breath. “What was tha-” “Nothing oh nothing” Isabelle perked up again. “I’m just so proud of you! You’re going to help so many people. You don’t even need money to be the Pope!” She said eying him cautiously. “Yeah..you know, you’re right. I don’t need to have the most high-tech cars, toys and tools to do good in the world. I can help people find peace in themselves, like I’m finding that peace right now.” He said, spreading his arms wide and staggering as he still wasn’t fully awake at 5 in the morning. “And if anyone tries to get in your way, you can still use all the money from the Vatican and stop them! You’ll be invincible on all sides~” said Isabelle still smiling up at Batfleck as if he were a younger sibling winning a race. “This is the day that’s going to change it all. The day Batman dies and becomes...BatPope. Superman couldn’t kill me, God’s mom is Mary, that’s close enough to Martha right?! It all makes sense! This was always supposed to be my path. My glorious ascent into the notoriety and awe that I’ve always deserved but never had since I’ve had to hide away in the shadows! I WILL BE UNSTOPPABLE IN THE BATPOPEMOBILE!” Maniacal laughter woke all the surrounding creatures in Batfleck’s small town of “Robin#12”. Isabelle slipped out of the bus and waited on a nearby stump for all the cartoonish animals to gather up before her. 

“Today is a day to go down in the history books. We have finally done what we’ve always set out to do. Our passive-aggressive behaviors were never enough to break the mind of the town mayor, so it seems only fitting that we were given a broken man to fall into our arms.” Most of the animals nodded, knowing that the laughing man in the old bus nearby was going to bring about a new age. “Today we march into the world of men and we take it as our own. TODAY IS A REVOLUTION” Isabelle’s once sweet demeanor gave way to that of a tyrant. “We’ve tested many, and all have failed us before now. How small of us to think one human would be enough to bring us the world he have longed to conquer. Through this feeble-minded man, we will stop the humans from being able to treat us like pets, rodents, and exotic rugs! We will take this world and claim it anew~.” Roaring and cheers were starting to build from the now entranced audience. Their time had been coming, and it was overdue. “In this new world, we will all but wipe out the humans, and we will do it by attacking their world leaders from the most unknown source of all….the pope.”

The animals cheered as if all their emotions were set free at once: anger, hate, fear, hope, and heartache for a world they had never been able to know. Once they started to calm their cheering, Isabelle added this: “You all know what you must do, so go now and set about enacting our plans. Once we have moved to herding all the humans into one place and destroying them once and for all, we can finally build...Zootopia.”


End file.
